What financial questions should you ask as a married couple?
Discussing money can sometimes be a touchy subject among couples, especially those who are already married.
But if you and your partner are ever going to be on the same page when it comes to money, you need to have those tough discussions sooner rather than later.
If you’re ready to dig into your family’s finances together, having a few good conversations about money is the first step.
But getting those conversations started can be difficult.
These 85 financial questions for married couples are a great way to inspire conversations to help you and your partner whip your finances into shape.
Before we dive into these money questions…
Why Should Married Couples Talk About Money?
The stress that often comes along with talking about money could be enough to keep you from having financial discussions with your spouse.
But there are a variety of great reasons to push past your fears to take the time to discuss money with your partner.
1) Your family’s finances affect both of you.
Whether or not you both handle your family’s finances, the money you share and the debt you incur affects you both.
As a married couple, you are LEGALLY responsible for each of your financial obligations, which means you need to be aware of all the money that comes into and goes out of your household.
2) Financial indiscretions are a form of infidelity.
If your partner hides aspects of their finances from you, this indiscretion can not only jeopardize your financial future but also your relationship.
To maintain trust in your relationship, being open and honest about money is essential.
Having a conversation about what is expected of both of you when it comes to financial obligations is a good first step. But it’s also important to keep the conversation going by discussing your family’s finances on a regular basis.
3) Talking about money could make you more satisfied in your marriage.
Having an open and honest discussion about money with your spouse may seem like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
And when you feel like you can trust your partner when it comes to money, you may also feel like you’re able to trust them more in other aspects of your marriage.
Money Questions For Couples
Here’s a comprehensive list of money questions for married couples. I’ve bolded the financial questions I think are particularly important.
Background Questions About Money
Whether you and your partner have discussed finances together before or not, there are probably a few things about your husband or wife you don’t know when it comes to money.
These simple questions will help you learn more about what your partner knows about budgeting and how they typically manage their own money.
From learning about their family’s relationship with money to understanding what money means to them, these questions can help get the conversation started when it comes to finances in your relationship.
1) Did your family talk about money together when you were growing up?
2) Were you aware of how much money your parents made when you were a child?
3) Did both of your parents work?
4) Do you think your parents did a good job managing their money?
5) Did your parents buy you everything you wanted or did they tell you when they couldn’t afford something?
6) Is there anything you would change about the way your parents dealt with money while you were a child?
7) Did your family go on vacations when you were young? Where did you go?
8) Who taught you about managing money?
9) Did you get an allowance when you were growing up? What did you do with that money?
Personal Financial Questions for Married Couples
Money management can be a personal experience.
But to be on the same page about money in your relationship, you need to be able to talk about money.
That means discussing the way you personally manage your money and how you each feel about different financial arrangements. These personal financial questions for married couples will help you get the ball rolling when it comes to talking about money with your partner.
Questions About Your History With Money
10) Do you have any bad memories from growing up that are associated with money?
11) What’s the biggest money mistake you’ve made?
12) What’s the best financial lesson you have learned?
13) What do you wish you knew about money when you were growing up that you know now?
14) Did you have a job when you were younger? What did you do?
Questions About Your Money Management Style and Situation
15) What scares you about money?
16) What does having money mean to you?
17) What does being good with money mean to you?
18) How do you manage your money?
19) How far ahead do you usually plan financially?
20) Do you follow a budget?
21) Are you a spender or a saver?
22) When you get a little extra money, what do you usually do with it? Spend it or save it?
23) Would you ever accept financial help from family?
24) Would you ever consider helping a family member financially?
25) What steps do you take to save money when you need to cut back on your spending?
26) How much is too much to spend on shoes, a vacation, a car, a house, etc.?
27) Do you want to talk to me about my spending? Do I want to talk to you about your spending?
28) Do you believe you are paid fairly at your job?
29) Do you plan on staying in the same job or will you look for a new job sometime in the future?
30) Do you feel financially responsible for our family?
31) Should we have equal say in our finances, even if one person makes more money than the other?
32) If I spent $100 on something and didn’t tell you, would you be mad?
33) What will we do if we disagree about our family’s finances or a big purchase?
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Money Questions About Your Debt
33) How do you feel about debt?
34) Do you believe there is good and bad debt?
35) Do you have debt that I’m not aware of?
36) If you do have debt, how do you feel about it?
37) If you have debt, how are you taking care of it?
38) How much debt do you think is acceptable for our family?
39) Do you typically carry a credit card balance?
40) Do you prefer buying things with cash or credit?
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Day to Day Financial Questions
One of the best ways to ensure you and your partner are both in agreement when it comes to your family’s finances, is to talk about how your money will be handled on a day to day basis.
These questions will help you and your partner come up with a plan for managing your family’s money.
Whether you already follow a budget or are just getting started with a financial plan for your family, discussing the answers to these questions can help you figure out a money management method that works for both of you.
41) What do you like about the way we have been managing our money so far?
42) Is there anything you would change about the way we handle money as a couple?
43) Should we combine our money or keep it separate? Why?
44) Who will manage the family’s finances day to day?
45) Who will be responsible for paying the bills?
46) How will we keep track of our income and spending?
47) What type of budget should we use?
48) Will we work together to create a budget?
49) How will we keep track of our budget throughout the month?
50) What percentage of our income should we dedicate to monthly bills?
51) What percentage of our income should we dedicate toward savings?
52) What percentage of our income should we dedicate to retirement and investments?
53) How much money should we have in our emergency fund?
54) How much can we each spend without the need to consult each other?
55) Will we donate any of our money on a regular basis? To who? How much?
56) If you currently have a budget, what would you change about it?
57) How will we handle large purchases? Will we make purchases using credit or save up and pay cash?
58) What are ways you can reduce your spending?
59) Are there ways to increase your income?
60) When will we talk about money next? How often will we discuss the budget?
Money Questions About Your Future
Planning for your future is a big part of any marriage.
That means you need to discuss those future plans with your partner.
From saving for retirement to realizing your dreams, there are a variety of ways money figures into your family’s future plans. These simple money questions about your future will help you and your partner figure out a plan for your money so you both know exactly what your money will be used for when the time comes.
61) Who will manage the long-term finances for the family?
62) Should we manage our retirement and investment accounts on our own or hire someone to do it?
63) What are our long-term savings goals?
64) Will we be saving for our children’s college education?
65) When do you want to retire?
66) What do you expect our retirement to look like? How do we need plan to make that a reality?
67) Do we need to start or add to our retirement?
68) Are there any things to consider financially as our parents get older?
69) Do you expect to get an inheritance from family? How will that factor into our future budget?
70) Will we be leaving any money behind when we die? Should we make arrangements now?
71) Do we need to make any big purchases (like a new house or car) in the near future?
72) What would we do if one of us lost our job?
73) When we have children, will we both continue working? Will one of us stay home with the kids? If so, who will stay home and who will work?
If we already have children, is our current situation (of who is working or staying at home) ideal? If not, what would be ideal?
74) Should our kids get a regular allowance? How much?
Fun Money Questions to Ask Your Partner
Not all conversations about money have to be serious!
Spending money can be fun, which means there are tons of fun things to talk about when it comes to your family’s finances.
Asking your partner these fun money questions will help you understand how they manage their money when it comes to fun purchases. And it’s a great way to get talking about future plans and goals you both can consider when you have a little bit of extra money to spend.
75) If you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you would purchase?
76) If money was no object, what is one thing you have always dreamed of doing or buying?
77) What is something big you would like us to save for?
78) What’s the next vacation you would like to take?
79) What do you want our life to look like in 10 years?
80) How much can we spend as fun money each month?
81) What do you like to spend your fun money on?
82) What’s one splurge you’ll never give up?
83) What would it take for you to be happy about our financial situation?
84) If you had an extra $1,000 this month, what would you do with it?
85) What are your dreams or goals in life?
86) Do you think we’re on track to help you achieve those goals? How can I help you achieve them?
Tips for Talking with Your Spouse About Money
Now that you know how important having the money talk with your spouse can be and many money questions for couples, you’re probably wondering how to get started.
Since discussing money and finances can sometimes be a difficult conversation to have, being prepared is a good idea.
Whether you and your partner have struggled with money issues in the past or you want to address the issue before it becomes a problem, talking about money with your husband or wife is the first step toward financial success as a couple.
These simple tips will help start the conversation and ensure it goes smoothly.
1) Set a date
Since talking about money is serious business, it’s a good idea to avoid springing these tough questions on your partner without advanced notice.
Instead, let them know that you want to set aside time to talk about money. You’ll both have a chance to think about the topics you want to discuss and have time to prepare yourselves for the conversation.
I find the best environment to discuss these questions is in a weekly marriage meeting. If you haven’t already established one, here’s everything you need to know to start a weekly marriage meeting including the agenda.
2) Make it fun
Talking about money can get serious pretty quickly.
Instead of setting yourselves up for a depressing conversation, try to make the discussion fun. Head out to your favorite restaurant or to grab a cup of coffee to lighten the mood before you get into the serious stuff.
3) Think “we” instead of “me”
Tackling the conversation of money in terms of “we” is a great way to show your partner that you want to work together.
Using the words we and us when talking about your family’s finances will ensure you avoid accusations and instead show a united front.
4) Recognize triggers
Everyone has certain items that trigger them when they’re discussing serious topics – especially when it comes to money.
To keep the conversation from becoming heated, take the time to recognize each other’s triggers.
If you notice your partner is getting upset about a topic, take a break. Give yourself and your partner time to calm down, then come back to the table to discuss the topic more rationally.
5) Don’t talk about everything at once
Talking about money should be an ongoing part of your marriage.
That means you don’t need to cover every money topic all in one sitting. Break down your money talks into different conversations to make the discussion a little easier to handle.
In addition to allowing you to thoroughly cover every aspect of your family’s money management, it will also give you and your partner plenty of time to discuss everything you want to know about how each of you deals with money.
6) Make it part of your routine
Once you have the big money talk, don’t stop talking about your family’s money.
Making financial discussions part of your routine is a great way to stay on the same page about your finances. Take the time to go over the family budget together and discuss upcoming expenses. Being open about money on a regular basis will prevent surprises and fights from happening in the future.
7) Ask lots of questions
Questions are the best way to get more information and learn more about a situation.
That’s why asking your partner questions when it comes to money is one of the best ways to work through a stressful situation.
Final Thoughts About Financial Relationship Questions
Asking these questions – having this conversation about money – can be difficult.
It’s important for the future of your finances and relationship to regularly communicate about your thoughts and situation with regards to money.
If your spouse is overspending, here are tips and strategies on how to stop your husband or wife from continuing this spending problem in your marriage.
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